Okay so I tried booting my computer this morning and apparently the
boot process went alright until..... it rebooted by itself!
I was like: what the fuck? I tried doing the same over and over again,
also even checking the filesystem with fsck just because why not. Turns
out it was the graphics driver going mad really badly. Anyway I got
inside single user mode, mounted the rootfs read-write, ran fsck, and
then a command somehow brought me onto multi user mode with graphics
working as if nothing had ever happened, honestly i'm not really sure
what's going on anymore. 

* 1: Local time, also was in Jul 8
* 2: kbdmap(1)